This New Year’s Eve, in honor of things both past and pending, I have determined this will be 25 songs I will need when I am the last(ish) human on earth. Or, at the least, the songs that the society formed by my descendants will play in the background of the Hallmark Channel Original they make about my post-apocalyptic wanderings.

1. For when I have to fight a pack of feral dogs for some food and I need to get pumped up: Bone Crusher – “Never Scared”.  Why? “My pistols getting thirsty and it needs something to drink”, “My guns my favorite bitch and she’s got a permanent PMS”

2. For when I am just wandering the wasteland looking for anyone? Great Lake Swimmers – “This is Not Like Home”.

3. For when I am left trying to sleep in some abandoned apartment overlooking the city? Eddie Vedder – “Long Nights”.

4. For when I have finally gotten that cow tipper welded onto the front of a jet powered car and I can now cruise the wastelands in search of gasoline? Wolfmother – “Vagabond”.

5. Song I would learn how to play on a piano to a room full of corpses I have strategically placed after I have truly lost it? Richard Hawley – “Roll River Roll”.

6. Song for watching the sunset after having gotten a good looting from the small town grocery store in the midwest as I eat a can of beans with my cat Oliver? Cat Stevens - “The Wind”.

7. Song for cruising midwest back roads looking for small town grocery stores to loot when it rains but thank God my windshield wipers still work on this rust bucket with a cow tipper welded to the front? Jennifer Lopez – “Jenny From the Block”. Why? Sentimental reasons. It just reminds me of the last time I did that.

8. Song for Oliver and I on a three wheeler cruising the countryside inspecting a burning stone shack in the middle of nowhere? Black Rebel Motorcycle Club – “Beat The Devil’s Tattoo”.

9. Song for taking a small single prop boat down the Mississippi wondering if there is something in the trees watching me? Microstoria – “Run? I Jolly Well Won’t Run. I’ll Be Happy To Get You Chaps Another Ball”.

10. Song for when I decide it’s time to upgrade my body armor to something with more spikes and far more leather to protect me from those damned roving bands of feral dogs? The Fratellis – “Chelsea Dagger”

11. Song for after I have constructed a Teddy Ruxpin-like airship and Oliver and I can float over the east coast and see all the death and destruction from whatever caused this mess, oh my god are those survivors!?! no.. just crows picking at the corpses making it look like they moved? The Thermals – “Back to Gray”

13. Song for when I stumble across some old 8mm films of some families happier times—a parade, and oh, ol’ dad showing off that monster catfish he caught—put my hand against the paint peeled wall the images dance upon and sob? Devendra Banhart – “The Body Breaks”.

14. Song for while I sit in a canoe on a pond trying to catch some fish an hour before sunrise to surprise Oliver with on our anniversary? Great Lake Swimmers – “Moving Pictures, Silent Films”.

15. Song for when I completely lose it (again) and am so lonely I dance to the flicker of candles with a mannequin in a tuxedo? The Ink Spots – “Puttin’ and Takin’”.

16. Song for when I’ve got to do something ridiculously dangerous and stupid and Oliver is all “Meow!” and I’m like “No Oliver, you can’t come, this is something I’ve got to do on my own.” And he’s all “Meow!” and I’m like “No, I’m sorry! I’ve got to do this,” and I walk off, and he follows and I’m like “Ollie! You can’t come! Go on home!” and he’s like “Meow!” and I wipe away a tear as I throw a rock at him to scare him off? Paw – “Jessie”.

17. Song for when we have trudged for days looking for water through the desert and finally get to our destination, but it’s not there, it’s just more sand. Then Oliver sees something and wants my attention, and we dig a little then it hits us, the whole city has been buried in sand, so I stand up holding me head taking in the whole desolate intensity of this discovery? Dead Can Dance – “The Host of Seraphim”.

18. Song for when I discover another living human, but he has gone mad, or have I? and he is hunting me, but I must outwit him, so the hunter becomes the hunted, and I use a reed as a breathing tube and hide under water waiting for him to cross the bridge and fall into my trap? Front 242 – “Headhunter″

19. Song for when I finally get to the mainframe, and plug the interface into the datajack that has been installed in my skull, download my feelings which have been removed and inadvertently download the memories and files of the team that created this experiment that devastated the planet and set all of this in motion? Telefon Tel Aviv – “What It Is Without the Hand That Wields It”.

And finally..

20. Song for when I wake up and realize it was all just a dream, and you’re there, and you, and you.. all of you! oh and Oliver! The Middle East – “Fool’s Gold”